TOP TEN REASONS TOUR OPERATORS STAY AT A HANDLERY HOTEL

 10.  WHEN YOU CHECK IN WE ALWAYS ASK YOU IF YOU NEED THE ROOM FOR THE EVENING OR JUST THE HOUR

 9.   INSTEAD OF “SANITIZED FOR YOUR PROTECTION” THE PAPER BAND AROUND THE TOILET SAYS GOOD LUCK

 8.   IN THE RESTAURANT THE WAITER MAKES YOU TIP BEFORE YOU TASTE THE FOOD

 7.   INSTEAD OF A WAKE UP CALL WE GIVE YOU A WAKE UP SLAP

 6.   AFTER 3 DAYS YOU CAN BE REASONABLY SURE THE HAIRS IN YOUR BATHTUB ARE YOUR OWN

 5.   PLASTIC SHEETS AND BODY OIL ARE AVAILABLE 24 HOURS A DAY

 4.   THE LUMPS IN THE MATTRESS MOVE EVEN IF YOU DON’T

 3.   AT NIGHT WE DON’T TURNDOWN YOUR ROOM WE SHAKE IT DOWN

 2.   YOU ARE CHARGED FOR BOTH OUTGOING AND INCOMING PHONE CALLS

 AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON TOUR OPERATORS STAY AT A HANDLERY HOTEL:

            ON THE ADULT MOVIE CHANNEL YOU WILL RECOGNIZE MOST OF MY STAFF